Stopping the Escalation will Stop the Harm

In 1973, California implemented “no-fault” divorce. When “fault” divorce existed, if you could prove the marriage failed because of his/her actions, you got more money, more property, and the children, no questions asked. But divorce was left in the adversary system and the “no-fault” divorce prevailed, enforcing the mythology of getting more with a barracuda of a lawyer. Telling the faults of the other person became irrelevant to division of property and support. But it was relevant to custody. Fights over the children escalated.

Research shows that it is not the divorce of their parents that in itself is so harmful to children, but it is the level of hostility between the parents. The litigation process invariably escalates the hostility.

More and more couples these days are finding a way to avoid that escalation. They are finding mediators trained to assist people in working out all aspects to achieve a fair and equitable divorce settlement, and if they have children, a parenting plan.

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